Why I don't like happy endings....

re-solve: 1. to decide firmly
                     2. to state fomally
              3. to  dispell
              4. to solve

In everyday things we are looking for our happy ending. We believe things will be better when we get to the next stage in life. If only I had a boyfriend, if only I was married, if only I had my promotion, if only the kids where grown...and we wish away the stages of our life. When we can resolve the stage of life we are in by "stating formally" what we have learned from it, we consider ourselves ready to move onto the next phase, the next chapter so to speak. Neat, clean, and over.

Then we "arrive" at the next stage and find that it's not everything we thought. The moment think we have it figured out something happens to make us wonder why movies do not show us anything beyond the ending we knew was coming for the last hour. Relationships get shaky, health fades, jobs are cut, and we get passed by. But we have our happy ending we worked hard for...and we had no idea it was going to leave us wanting more.

So what do we do with that desire, the want and need for more? Often, we begin the cycle again, and look for the next thing to want. What should this next phase look like? And we are tired, overstressed, overworked, and our relationships are suffering. Only when we pause and evalute and bring our needs before our Creator God, the Lord Jesus Christ, does the inner peace begin to flow. Things begin to sort themselves out. And pausing becomes okay.

As I read through the Bible I do not get a sense of resolve in very many of the stories and accounts contained within the covers. The disciples died awaiting the return of thier Master, the Isrealites continue to long for their homeland, Esther saved her people but you cannot help but wonder if she still desired to be called upon more often by her husband. Even the Nativity story builds and builds but there is still no resolve. Luke 2 recounts the desire, the tension, and questions Elizabeth and Zechariah must have had as they waited and longed for a child. Of course we know John the Baptist arrived on the scene but we also see that he is rejected by the religious leaders of the day and later beheaded. Mary and Joseph work hard to protect thier son Jesus from harm, by fleeing to Egypt to escape the slaughter of Herod, to only lose Him at the temple when He was a young teenager, to see Him crucified. Of course, He is resurrected and appears to His disciples but, they are left waiting...

I believe that the paradox is this: there exists a holy tension that contends for our attention. It calls to us in the quietness of the soul, silently shouting: THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS ALREADY BUT NOT YET! We are bound by this thing called time. It limits us from the proper view of Christ and His fullness, it remains unresolved because while we have glimpsed His majesty it has not encompassed us. Donald Miller writes in Blue Like Jazz that he "never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself...I used to not like God because God didn't resolve." We feel disappointed in our relationships with God at moments because the resolution and resolve elludes us...and that fusturates us. We feel as though God is holding out on us when we cannot package Him in a neat story, or close the book and walk away until we are ready to engage in the next chapter. And to me that is the beauty of Him and life.

We are not meant to have happy endings on earth because the happiest of all endings (all of creation in restoration with God and the arrival of the New Heaven's and New Earth) have not yet occured in our time frame. Yes, the books have been written, but we have not experienced it. So the tension fights in us. Every chapter of our lives that we expect to feel like we have arrived or receive contentment out of is an echo of what is to come! So view the chapters in your life as part of a greater story that is still being read. God has written it in such a way you will not be able to guess at it's ending.

Dear Jesus, thank you that you are the author and finisher of my faith. That your presence is fully present even when I cannot clearly understand the tension that exists in my life. Thank you that Christ in me is the hope of Glory, and that is the greatest story every told. I love you. And I love that you allow me to serve you. Yours in Service.